It is unfortunate that only when we say goodbye to some of our best known and well-loved figures – from George Michael, Bill Paxton, Gorden Kaye, John Hurt, Tara Palmer to Carrie Fisher, Prince and David Bowie that we start to awaken to issues such as depression, suicide, and loneliness that affect almost every human being.
One of my favourite actors, Robin Williams, whose movies have inspired millions of people suffered from depression and hanged himself at the age of 63. The truth is it does not matter if you are rich and famous or poor and unknown, mental and emotionally triggered health problems if not addressed can force anyone down the path of where there is no return.
We mourn their passing and we hope they have found the peace in death that they could not find in life, but many people continue to live their life doing jobs they don’t love, remaining in relationships that suffocate them, and afraid of speaking their inner truth from the fear of being judged, criticised and rejected.
So many clients I have helped over the years have shared in their sessions with me why they tend to choose antidepressant, drugs, cigarettes and alcohol as their first choice to help them deal with stressors, pressures, and situations that cause them emotional harm.
As I take them on an inside out reflective journey, a shift to their mindset happens when they start to listen to the messages that are being communicated from their inner being through their behaviours, actions, and situations they find themselves in. Unfortunately, often people seek help when is either too late or when a physical illness takes over, instead of reaching out, they close down and drown themselves in an ocean of infinite loneliness, afraid to reach out and do something about it.
According to the facts published by the office of National Statistics the deaths suicide and other mental or emotionally triggered illnesses caused, have risen to the point that if you are a man between 20 and 49, you’re more likely to die from suicide than cancer, road accidents or heart disease.
Suicide is the number one killer and the biggest threat both men and women face. The figures are chilling, and yet still it is something companies do little about, we hardly discuss in media, in public or in our private lives— which is a significant part of the problem itself.
But the statistics are clear, so are the insights from the problems that thousands of people I have helped across the world share with me. The problem has become too big for us to ignore. The question to be asked now is not just why executives, celebrities, and young men are killing themselves in record numbers, how are they joining terrorist groups that sway them to take their own lives, but what are we all going to do about it?
The thing people always want to know is: why? It is the why that encouraged the wife of a successful senior executive working for a bank in the City of London to send me the following private fb message:
“Dear Tony, we are not friends on fb, though I have been following your work for few years now. Your personal story through loneliness, bullying, and sexual abuse that you share in #Loneliness touched my soul. I felt as if you wrote the book just for me. The reason for contacting you is to see if your integrated work can help my husband and us as a family. In the last few months, due to work pressures, my husband who is a CEO of a multinational company has been struggling with depression, anxiety, stress, and having suicidal thoughts. We have tried conventional doctors who prescribed him antidepressants, gone through various therapists, and recently a friend of ours who speaks very highly of you and your integrated work asked me to get in touch and make sure I book a consultation for my husband and myself. From your fb posts I can see you are abroad, can I please book us both on your first available appointment when you are back in UK?”
I felt inspired to write this article after spending two hours with an incredible man who has achieved so many things in life, yet deep down he felt alone, unfulfilled, scared, and afraid to look me into my eyes.
Deep down, he knew that I could see his pain and the truth he was trying so hard to hide it. It reminded me of another client, Paul McMonagle, who today openly shares with the world how two years ago the consultation he had with me stopped him from committing suicide and put him on a journey to find cure to his twenty years of living with OCD and epilepsy.
Having helped thousands of men and women overcome various mental, emotional, physical health issues as well as relationship, business, and financial challenges, I know that suicide and self-harm are not mental health problems themselves, but they are linked with mental distress, emotional pain, unmet expectations, deep rooted fears, and from not living ones authentic values and truth.
I know the effects of suicidal thoughts, this virus of the modern age, first hand. In 2009 I faced redundancy and other chained events that caused me emotional harm, distress, and a mental breakdown that lead me to contemplate suicide. Every decision I made back then was based on what others thought of me, it got me to a point where I saw no way out but to contemplate suicide, a real life story which I transparently share in my book #Loneliness-The Virus of The Modern Age.
I decided to write this article about the effects of suicide, depression, and mental health to not only raise awareness in the business, but also as a call for love to save people from all walks of life who too may currently be in a situation where they see no way out and causes them considerable emotional harm that drives them on a path that leads to what I call in my book #Loneliness, the caves of the wretched solitude.
Although there is no simple solution to reducing the number of people who take their own lives, here is Five Vital Steps from the TJS Evolutionary Method: ALARM™ that you may want to take to help yourself or others who may be contemplating suicide.
- Acknowledge to yourself or to others that you can trust a sudden change in behaviour. This is the first step to take in order to help yourself or others. We are born with all that we need to be able to identify the root cause of the changes that force us to create numerous coping mechanisms for the things in our life that cause us to feel angry, depressed, and disappointed about. If online resources are not helping you, seek professional help from a Dr, therapist, coach, mentor, healer, or any other qualified person who can help you.
- Love heals, when we feel segregated from this life force we leave ourselves prone to all sort of attacks that can affect or auric, mental, emotional and physical body. Find ways to love the unlovable that causes you most distress. I use this very same technique to help thousands of clients free themselves from depression, anger, and self-harming actions.
- Achieve mental agility by looking to have a complete awareness of the situation that causes you to want to contemplate suicide or any other forms of self-harm. Our mind is what destroys or builds perfect health in our body. Use the 25 conscious engineering steps of TJS Method™ to transcend the thoughts that keep you stuck, question the beliefs and the values that are programmed from a very young age, and chose to upgrade your brains systems for living.
- Results are your creation, taking full responsibility of your life is the first step to awakening your inner doctor, genius, and scientists that can help you re engineer your reality.
- Miracles come to those who learn to listen to every communication that comes from their inner being. See suicidal thoughts as your wakeup call that puts you on a journey to align your values, beliefs, behaviours and daily actions with the dreams they are called to pursue.
Finally, here is a quote I created to be a soothing balm for all of you who may be going through struggle, adversity, and may feel at times hopeless, alone, depressed and suicidal that you can use as a tool to help yourself or those in need.
“Careless words may kindle strife, but gracious words give hope, heal and save a life.”
Get involved by commenting and sharing which one of these vital principles resonates most with you or someone you may know that could benefit from this article. Feel free to invite others to engage in a life changing dialogue that as the quote above says can give hope, heal and save a life.
Be authentic, wealthy, and healthy,
Tony J. Selimi
To learn more about what my integrated work can do for you, your company, book me to inspire your audience or have a private consultation please click HERE to send me an e-mail.