We are born whole, yet from the moment we come into this world we are constantly told by our parents, the religion in which we were born into, and the schools that we attend that we are not. We are programmed to constantly seek validation that we are good enough from external sources and create the illusion of not being good enough within ourselves.
The truth is, it is impossible to go through our childhood, teenage years, and adulthood without some situations or someone infecting you with the belief that you are not enough. That unless you do something that others want you to do, you are made to feel you are not worthy of love. It is precisely this feeling of unworthiness that it is the root cause of the many of the humanity’s problems such as illness, poverty, high divorce rates, rise in extremism, nationalism, phobia’s, etc.
This way of perceiving our reality from a place of not being good enough is extremely painful to our human experience and therefore we spend most of our lives trying to proof we are good enough.
The feeling of not being good enough is one of the major catalysts that changes, controls, and commands our behavior, attitude, and affects the quality of our life. It also impacts our self-esteem, self-worth, and in general our overall well-being.
If you are someone who is seeking a way out of your current situation and a way in into a new reality that is more favorable to you, then you may want to keep reading on. Reason being, I am going to share with you what one powerful practice you can do daily to fill the empty hole that you feel inside from within yourself.
In every coin there are two sides, similarly, for every negative emotion, there is the opposite positive emotion that in most cases we unconsciously do not acknowledge.
For instance, this feeling of not being good enough also has a positive side, it can drive us towards achieving some astronomical goal and inspire us to become legendary. For instance, my drive to proof to my parents that I am good enough helped me go from living homeless in the streets of London, to obtaining an Engineering degree at one of the UK’s prestigious university – University College London (UCL). It also drove me to climb the career ladder, become a successful entrepreneur, and internationally award-winning author of two books.
Having spent over twenty years doing personal, professional, and spiritual development, I know now that this is not the most optimal path to achieving success, wellness, and most importantly wholeness. Reason being, doing things in your life to disapprove the model of not being good enough comes with high cost, in worst cases it costs you your health, wealth, and most importantly your time.
This way of living your life is what makes you give your power away and become dependent on others to validate your worth. Daily I see many clients who come to me for a whole range of problems, from health related issues to relationship, money, business, or leadership challenges. Recently, a client of mine who is a successful CEO came to see me because he felt his children did not appreciate him for everything he was giving them. This grow into anger, frustrations, and tremendous resentments towards his wife and his kids.
When he would come home his expectation was for his children to behave in certain way, when they would not meet his expectations he would feel rejected, unworthy, and not good enough.
This is a common behavior for many people that expect to be praised, validated, and noticed. If this expectation is not met, then they go into a tantrum, some people like my CEO client felt unappreciated, not respected, and deep down rejected.
For most of you, it is difficult to see this underlying behavior, as in those moments when this happens, you will not literally think that you are not enough.
Having read over 20,000 books from various life disciplines, attended many seminars on personal, spiritual and business development as well as working with some of the world’s best experts, I concluded that the voids we try to fill do not come as a result of rational choice – but instead by conditioning and habit. And thus, many of us live our lives feeling not good enough based on limiting crules and outdated cbeliefs about pretty much everything – health, relationships, career, education, love, work, money, parenting, sex, and so much more—which we inherit and pass on from generation to generation.
But, what if you could find most effective ways to fill in your voids that you seek in others from within yourself? What would your reality look like if you could forget the crules, brules, chabits of the past, and redefine what wholeness means for you?
This is exactly what the TJS Evolutionary Method that I use in my daily coaching practice to assist people from all walks can do for you, support you in your journey to filling an invisible hole you feel inside.
Use the first of the five step TJS Evolutionary Method to consciously engineer the reality in which you experience balance, gratitude, and feeling whole.
Acknowledge the people who trigger your emotions as they are the perfect teachers to address the unconscious voids that keep you seeking validation from outside of yourself.
For instance, if you get triggered by someone criticizing your way of parenting, then find that part of yourself that loves to criticize others, this is what is normally referred too as your disowned part.
To do so, list all of emotions you experience in that moment you feel criticized, as they are there to help you find your voids.
By owning these disowned parts of yourself i.e. recognizing that you have this trait in yourself, you start to change your behavior. In doing so, instead of pointing out the finger outwardly, thank them for being the mirror to recognize your disowned traits. This modification in your behavior is what will help you step into your true power, the one that comes from experiencing the wholeness of your being.
There are many self-help books that mention universal laws that help you break free from the shackles of not being good enough. In my best-selling book A Path to Wisdom you can learn the rest of the TJS Evolutionary Method and the other steps that you can use daily to help you address the feelings of not being good enough and equip you with the knowledge and the tools required to live in a state of wholeness.
For those of you who are already well ahead in your personal, professional and spiritual development you may also want to read my newly published international award-winning book #Loneliness –The Virus of The Modern Age where I share in more details the amount of crules (crap rules), cbeliefs (crap beliefs), and cbehaviours (crap behaviours) that are at the root cause of not feeling good enough, being rejected, and the cause of life adversities that can take you deep down into the wretched caves of isolation and deep loneliness.
Lastly, learn to dance with the angel and the devil in you that represent the many counterparts of the polar opposite of the “good” and the “bad” sides of your being, be curious about any external triggers that may put you out of equilibrium, acknowledge them, and open your heart to the power of the infinite wisdom that resides in the vibration of love.
If you are ready to breakthrough the things that keep you in the loop of not being good enough and live a more connected, inspired and purposeful life then say yes now, book a clarity coaching consultation, and get in touch asap.
To your success, dreams and abundance!