Dear growth seeker,

Thank you for choosing to invest your time in reading this article about the importance of transformative leadership and growing the most precious asset you will ever possess – You.

So many of you have messaged me here on my website, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook and on WhatsUp to ask me to share some insights on the recent most spoken two topics that affect every human being – Will Smith’s violent response after the comedian Chris Rock made a joke about his wife Jada Pinkett Smith which not only shocked the live audience at the Oscars but also sparked media attention around the world and the invasion of Ukraine. So I decided to write this article and share my thoughts in a way that can start the so needed leadership conversations not only in every business and organisation but also in governments around the world.

Both incidents mentioned above are great examples of the destructive power of our inability to control ourselves when emotions, biases, and judgment get the best of us. Perhaps it is time to shape the narratives around the kind of distraction we as human beings and what Authoritarian and Transactional Leadership are capable of. But it is also a great example of how the same distraction can create a rippling effect of uniting leaders to step up and focus on the safety, growth and protection of their people and the very same foundation upon which democracy is built.

The Ukrainian leader Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelensky, a former actor and comedian who became the sixth and incumbent president of Ukraine, is an excellent example of the traits of Transformational Leadership. He rose to the challenges he as an individual faced when the war in Ukraine started, but he also managed to mobilise his people to fight one of the strongest armies in the world and managed to galvanise the EU and NATO leaders to step up their game.

The truth is…

Transformational leaders are focused on the safety, wellbeing, growth and development of their people. They set clear expectations, honour commitments, and keep their employees accountable to goals. Transformational leadership has been shown to result in higher morale, decreased turnover, greater motivation (both for the leader and for team members), more innovation and creativity, increased productivity, better communication between employees and management, improved performance in high-stress situations (such as emergencies), increased trust among employees and higher earnings for the company as a whole.

As an employee or a manager, you’re already great at hitting your deadlines, completing projects on time and under budget, and maintaining positive relationships with your direct reports. But when there’s a big, hairy project that needs to be completed—like launching a new product or implementing an organisational change—that’s where you fall short. You feel like you’re spinning your wheels trying to rally the troops. You don’t know what steps to take to get out of this rut and gain traction.

One of the main benefits to use coaching, training, and development as an empowering tool to activate leadership in everyone in your organisation is this:

Transformational Leaders Are Excellent at Asking Quality Questions and at Listening.

They ask questions to understand how people feel about a situation. They ask questions to help people get to the root of a complex problem. They ask questions to help people find solutions. They ask questions that help people move forward in life, whether it is by identifying their blind spots or providing direction and inspiration for a new way forward.

What better way to transform your people than by asking questions that will help them think outside the box, consider new perspectives and improve their performance, decision-making and communication?

For instance, in The Unfakeable Code®, I share more about what questions could you ask your people to help them rethink their approach to a provocation or a project? What questions could you ask them to encourage them to take off the mask and be open to exploring new ideas or looking at things differently? What questions could you ask that would help them make more effective decisions? Or communicate more effectively with customers or colleagues?

Another reason to promote authentic leadership in your organisation is this:

Transformational Leaders Are Excellent at Empowering Others.

Empowerment is a simple concept to understand. It means giving people the freedom to make decisions and act on them. Empowerment is essential in an organisation since the manager won’t always be there to guide others, so they need to be empowered to make their own decisions.

Over the years, I have had the pleasure to coach and mentor businesses from all market sectors and leaders of some of the fortune 500 companies to create a culture where empowerment thrives by building trust within the board,  teams, and every employee in the organisation. As we worked together on achieving their objectives, every client has realised how trust and empowerment go hand in hand; if you don’t trust someone, you’re unlikely to empower them with decision-making authority.

In our professional careers, we all come across transactional leaders and managers. They are perceived as inauthentic, dull, and unworthy of our trust because of how they act, behave, and treat the people they manage. Such leaders don’t get many opportunities to practice being exciting and original, so they stay disempowered.

With enough encouragement, coaching, and training, anyone can be anything. So why not invest in activating leadership across your entire organisation?

Transformational Leaders Inspire Vision and Purpose.

You may have heard the old saying, “dance like no one is watching.” Maybe you’ve said it yourself. Dancing like no one is watching has become a cliché for letting go, but what if it were more than just a feel-good adage?

What if dancing like no one was watching was the first step toward achieving something you want – dancing on Broadway, winning an Olympic medal, or just shedding a few pounds and feeling better about yourself?

Most people are afraid to take that first step because they’re worried about what other people will think. But we believe there’s a real opportunity to achieve your goals if you ignore everyone else and focus on what you want.

Transformational Leaders Encourage Innovation.

Good leaders are open-minded, and this openness is a crucial part of what makes them suitable. They’re willing to consider new ideas and ways, encouraging others to do the same. This makes it easier for their employees to think creatively, which can help the team address challenges or identify new opportunities.

Transformational Leaders Set Challenging Goals.

Transformational leaders set challenging goals and can mobilise people to achieve them. Volodymyr Zelensky, NATO and the EU are great examples of this. They also create a sense of urgency, setting deadlines and milestones to keep things on track. Finally, they empower followers by giving them the freedom to achieve the end in their way.

This doesn’t mean that you can say: “I have a great idea! We should build an Android Artificial Intelligence Powered phone!” Then hand the team a blank canvas, walk away and expect results. Setting challenging goals is essential but not enough; these leaders also ensure that followers understand their role in achieving the outcome and providing the necessary resources. Both NATO and the EU are giving Ukraine many resources to help them fight back Russia Invasion. And finally, they make sure team members have sufficient time for reflection to plan their next steps appropriately (rather than jumping from crisis to crisis).

Transformational Leadership Assist in Creating Effective, Efficient and Energised Managers and Employees.

In one of the companies, I was hired to assist them in addressing low productivity, poor performance, and high turnover staff issues. I observed how many did not like working for the company because they felt not listened to, not necessary, and did not want to face colleagues used to moaning, criticising, and bringing other people down. Their leaders were not listening to what everyone in the company felt, which many found to be demoralising and destructive.

What I did as their coaching partner was to clarify the behaviours that fuel transactional leadership and management and use it to:

• Motivate and inspire staff to achieve their full potential
• Build loyalty and trust
• Create a positive and supportive environment
• Encourage teamwork, innovation and collaboration
• Set challenging and values-driven goals
• Improve employee’s mental health, performance and wellbeing
• Grow their reputation, productivity and profits

I love travelling the world and assisting others in creating transformational results. One thing that inspired me throughout my life to keep learning, growing, and sharing my gifts for the benefit of others is what my father, a successful restaurateur told me as I was growing up:

“My son, if you want your business to grow, then assist others to grow by leading by example.”

You’ve just read about the transformative leadership possible for you and your organisation. Now it’s time to take the next step and get started on your path to being a transformative leader and activating leadership across your entire business.

Get in touch with me today! As your coaching partner, it will be an honour to work on addressing the issues that cause you headaches, pain, and frustrations and get you the clarity, the tools, and the plan that begins to grow you and your employees into the best transformational leader possible. You’ll learn practical ways and skills that will help you to inspire your employees and elevate them above their peers at competing companies while also inspiring yourself as a leader.

There’s no reason your organisation can’t become the market leader, and I love sharing how to get the results and where you want to be by becoming a transformative leader.

Love and Wisdom

Tony J. Selimi – Award-Winning Author, Speaker, and Transformational Live and Business Coach Specialising in Human Behaviour, Leadership Excellence, and Maximising Human Potential. Winner of the London SME Most Visionary Entrepreneur 2020 award, Corporate Coaching and Recruitment Business Coach of the Year 2021 Award, Silver Winner of Literary Book Award 2021, and Maincreast Media Book Award 2021 for A Path to Wisdom, #Loneliness, and The Unfakeable Code®.

PS – I work on a virtual basis and in-person with clients all over the globe, facilitating the realisation and accomplishment of personal, professional, and business goals. Here are four ways I can assist you in creating life-changing breakthroughs, growth, and accelerating your journey to excellent health, influence, transformational leadership and success.

#1… Book a Breakthrough Consultation Session by sending an email to info@tonyselimi.com

#2 … Grab your copy of my #1 Amazon bestselling and Multi-Award-Winning books, A Path to Wisdom, #Loneliness, The Unfakeable Code®, and enrol in my Mindfulness for Higher Productivity, Performance, and Profitable Life Udemy Course! Click here to join thousands of my happy students.

#3 … Make the fastest progress by hiring me to work with you on your business and train your teams. Just reply to this message and put “private” in the subject line. Let me know a little about you or your business and what you’d like to work on together, and I’ll get you the quote, invoice, and the necessary booking details.

#4 … Hire me as a speaker to educate, inspire and transform your audience at your next company or industry event. Click HERE to download my speaker sheet and fill in the form with your event info, and once I hear from you, I’ll send you the contract and fee info back.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”- Lao Tzu 

It is in our DNA to continuously evolve, multiply, and wake up and rise. To search for a deeper meaning to our mortal lives. The more I was learning about Taoism, the more I came to understand the meaning hidden behind Lao’s statement.

The many of the truth’s and lies that I had learned since a very young age kept me imprisoned in the prison of my own creation, the one of a rigid mind, and of an perfect illusionist whose illusions were so real that one could never establish the difference of what is and what’s not an illusion.

Ancient scriptures are littered with paradoxical lingo, for instance Jesus said, “Whoever tries to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will preserve it.”

Only this statement kept me searching for the deeper meaning behind these words. I came to experience the flow of life, the rhythm of striving and letting go that which hinders our evolution, conceals our truth, and keeps us holding on too tightly to our beliefs, skewed perceptions and injected values.

When we eventually awaken to our greatness, it feels like swimming against the current. It is this illusion that you must break through committing to do the hard work required to unravel the truth of who you are. Hustle and be persistent, make sure you balance this with patience, and at times, stepping away from a rigid belief, injected value, people or situation.

This was the case with Elizabeth Gilbert following the massive success of Eat, Pray, Love. She shared about the crippling pressure of any follow up work that came from this success. With millions of anxious readers, she cranked out a manuscript over the course of one year, but she shared that it just didn’t feel right “The voice didn’t sound like me.”

She decided to put the manuscript away, never to be looked at again, and focused on her garden patch. Taking a break brought her clarity; rather than writing the book for the millions anticipating, she decided to start over and wrote it for an audience of 27 close friends, who needed the message of the book.

This very same situation happened to me when I embarked writing both of my books A Path to Wisdom and #Loneliness. In both occasions the first manuscript I wrote did not feel congruent to me. I felt rushed and in a way pressured to deliver the manuscript to my publishers. I walked away from both of my original scripts and created two new ones that are now read by millions of readers globally.

Being able to listen to your true authentic voice, not the one you have developed over the years of conditioning, or disassociation, or fear, is what helped me let go of what the books had to be and created the room for them to become what they meant to be.

In your striving, acknowledge your willingness to let go and just do it.

Here are the five principles to embrace to elevate your being:

1. Unravel, Know and Grow Your Value. There’s value in simply being alive, being all you can be, and knowing your presence matters. And there’s value in what you contribute to the world; to learn to value how both your inner “devil” and “angel” are there to support you on your journey to self-actualization, and how life adversities are there to help you live your highest values and share that with the world. Keep investing in your most valuable assets: your health, knowledge, and wisdom. Get yourself a mentor or a coach, there are many out there, choose one that is credible, speaks, lives and is capable of holding a clean mirror to teach you your truth. I personally love learning and consulting with various teachers including world human behavior expert Dr John Demartini.
2. Learn the art of mastering free will and determinism. Many people out there believe that they have no free-will, that all our actions and behaviors are predetermined neurologically through upbringing and environment. Neuroplasticity experts disagree; they have now shown to us that we can change our brain, and we’re wholly and solely responsible for what takes place in life. In my recent book #Loneliness I share how our experience gives way to both; sometimes, we freely choose to pass on those delicious chocolate cakes, other times we’re possessed by the Vanilla Ice Cream Hagen Daz-monster. There are times we’re nothing like our parents, and other times we’re a splitting image. What I notice in many people is their willingness to intrude in other people’s realities, offering services and reasons why they should be in your life. To the extent that our able, self-discipline and willpower needs to be exerted. Ultimately with decision-making, joy comes in knowing you’re in the driver’s seat rather than the passenger seat. Whether or not free will is an illusion, feeling as though you’ve expressed your will is better than being a mindless robot. Remember, taking ownership is always better than seeking to blame.
3. Train your mind to think fast and slow down when it is absolutely necessary. Many of my clients struggle when it comes to making a decision if they should go ahead with their head, or with their heart. That is the question that billions of people are currently asking on the planet. When I spent six weeks meditating I learnt to master my mind, to slow it down and to think fast by recollecting vast amount of data needed to make a decision. Thinking fast, or just going with your gut, is often tied in with the unconscious mind; science has shown that it’s incredibly accurate—once we identify a goal we want to accomplish in our life, our mind draws from the vast information we’re subconsciously exposed to, and responds to triggers that support the goal. Thinking slow requires more conscious effort to fully explore an issue, but can lead to overanalysing and inaction. Whether you ultimately decide to go with logic or intuition, realizing your physical and emotional state when making the decision is just as, if not more important. Being in a stressed, tired, or negative state will never yield the best decision. Learn to be balanced, to think fast, and slow down when you need to, best way to do it is while you’re rested and in a calm state.
4. Embrace change and permanence. Universe is constantly moving, evolving, and creating and destroying stars and galaxies. You are part of the same universe governed by the very same laws. If you’ve heard the words, “Gosh, you’ve changed,” it was likely with a derogative tone, and remorse over what happened to the person they once knew. To be grounded and consistent in our values is a good thing, pretence has never been notable. Yet at the same time, returning to your high-school reunion and seeing old friends stuck in the same old thing comes with a sense of shame, blame and guilt. To grow and change is both a good and a bad thing. Whilst stagnancy has never been celebrated, it is essential part of everyone’s journey. Repetition and evolution are two great words balancing the truths of permanence and change: you may never change careers in your life, but the reality is you’ve grown in your work. You may never leave your country, but you may have fulfilled all your dreams and are daily doing actions that are elevating your being.
5. Study both Science and Spirituality. Science without spirituality is blind, spirituality without science is foolish. The integration of the knowledge they both bring is key to understanding the universe, our origins, and the next steps in our evolution. The dawn of the enlightenment and scientific revolution was the great divide between faith and reason. Positivism and Empiricism became the dominant methods for determining truth, and all else was classed as superstition. But in the recent years, we’ve seen the traditional enemies overlap, with science validating once esoteric knowledge and practices like prayer and meditation.

The five principles above are a great reminder that while truth and confidence can be grounded in facts and figures, trust and assurance can also be found in what’s not visible to the naked eye, or immediate to your senses. Belief, gratitude, and faith—less tangible experiences, supported by science, all broaden and add to meaningful experiences in life.

Learn to use the TJS Evolutionary Method to embody the mentioned five principles into your daily life. It will help you on your journey to integrate the wholeness of who you are.  For those of you who are advanced students of life, you may want to start reading my newly released book #Loneliness –The Virus of The Modern Age.  In this book is where you start the journey to unravel the hidden lies that in time become the truths that you speak. Where you learn to be authentic, speak your truth, and honour your true essence.

Lastly, remember one thing, enlightenment is not an overnight thing, it is a lifelong commitment, it is your infinite soul’s way of letting you know how powerful you are, and it is a dance between “Good” and “Evil”, “Love and “Hate”, “Day” and “Night” and the many counterparts of the two polar opposite sides of you.

“Being truthful, authentic, and grateful is the first step to healing your body, mind, and heart.”

Which one of these vital principles that resonates most with you are you going to commit daily? Which one of them is most aligned to your values, why is it so, and please feel free to share with me and readers from around the globe why is it so. Write your thoughts in the comments below, share this article on social media and invite others to engage in a life changing dialogue.

Be authentic, wealthy, and healthy,

Tony J. Selimi

Speaker, Coach, Human Behavior and Cognition Expert

There comes a moment in our lives where no matter what we do, we don’t seem to see an end to our troubles. We end up feeling emotional, down, and hopeless. We lose faith in our abilities, we start to ride a never ending emotional rollercoaster, and we end up feeling vulnerable to the external stimulants that have the power to create an emotional storm.

When this happens, just like the many of the clients I see daily, many of you too end up closing down, withdrawing, and pushing away the people who may be there in your reality to help you grow. It is during this time that you can understand better the reasons you feel that way and get the clarity required for you to go from feeling hopeless to being inspired and stepping into your greatness.

It is rather strange, that it is also in such moments that we stumble across people who feel amazing, are successful, and are living inspired lives. They radiate confidence, kindness, and have a very smart appeal that deep down within ourselves we tend to resent them for and equally find them irresistibly attractive.

They tend to be funny, loving, trustworthy and most of all passionate in what they do. If you make a choice you too can change the destination called hopelessness. No, this is not a blog post to tell you all about somebody who has high self-worth, self-esteem, or self-confidence so that you feel even worse about yourself.

This is not a post to talk about how everything in other people’s life is going perfectly and so can everything in your life. Also, this is not a post that is going to tell you that the world is actually less complicated, less difficult and less challenging than it actually is. This is a post to awaken you, to remind you that no matter what you are going through in your life, you have a voice. And you are important.

Whilst the world may not be perfect and you may feel hopeless at times, one important thing to remember is that you are not alone and things will get better… but you have to use your reasoning, your choice, and your voice.

Recently I delivered a speech at The Inspired Stage on the value of the instrument you all play-your voice. Your voice is your own. It is your own personal projection of the way you are inside. It is the voice of your opinions, of your thoughts, of your emotions.

It is the way in which you inform and communicate to the world about your aspirations, the struggles, the achievements, the good things and the bad things you go through. By using your voice, you are able to express yourself to the world in a way that only you can do.

My talk with the audience at The Inspired Stage was about the importance of using our voice by first telling the audience that I know what it is like to be a refugee, depressed, and homeless. I know the deep, dark despair found in the Syrian refugees that are being uprooted from their homes is the feeling of homeless, hopeless, and fearful.

Once I was a person who thought of me as kind, smart, funny and loving, I slipped into a depression, helplessness, and my self made inner prison during the times when after the civil war in former Yugoslavia broke out, I ended up homeless in the streets of London.

The fact that I was only 19, alone with no family, friends or roof over my head I went through very severe bullying as a refugee and someone who sought safe haven in UK from the atrocities of civil war.

I became very depressed and very suicidal and actually attempted suicide as back then I thought there was nothing more to lose.

While I was in the lowest point of my life, I also began to question myself and my identity. I began to question why I am here, how come many of my comrades died and I survived, and what is it I can do to take back the direction my life was going. I questioned everything about my life, my ability to speak, to be happy, be great and even to live a purposeful life.

But I know I was rescued by the many people that fortune put on my path. It is in their kindness, compassion, and love that I found the strength to overcome the post war depression, the fears from living my life in a limbo, and from not knowing if I will ever see my family again.

Despite feeling hopeless, despite feeling as if I was not valuable, worthy, and despite feeling like I didn’t want to live on this planet anymore, deep down I felt a connection with something greater than I have ever experienced before. It is this inner voice that spoke up to me, it is the love that many people showered me with that became the light that started to shine my path from the darkness that had enveloped my heart.

I knew then I had to listen to my inner voice and the many people that God put on my path or I would end up losing the life that I was born to live. The point here is that I was not strong enough to use my voice, so the many people who fortune put on my path became my voice that slowly started to take me into hope, gratitude, and access my greatness.

I was strong enough to tell few of the people I had developed trusts of my suicidal thoughts, but I was not strong enough to ask for help outright. By making the choice to listen to this inner voice, I saved my life.

If you are someone going through feeling hopeless, acknowledge within yourself the voice that knows that no matter what you are going through, you have a voice and you are important. You too can connect to your authentic voice, listen to your cry for help that can help you prevent from potentially feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and in the worst case scenario commit suicide.

Thus, the importance of using your voice, have coach, or a mentor to help you through this journey is priceless. It could save your life or even the life of a friend. We have all heard it before the saying “There is a light at the end of that tunnel.” The truth is that back then, at the age of twenty, with no family, no income, and no friends my tunnel was black, and so was the many people I came across on my frequent trips to the Home Office in Croydon.

Remember, no matter what you are going through in your life, you are a voice, an authentic being, and you are important. Use your voice. It is the only thing that is uniquely yours that can help you communicate the greatness that lives in every cell of your body. It could save your life. It could save the life of a friend, and it could save your relationship too. Either way, when you’re feeling helpless you need to listen to your voice and the ALARMs that your body is sending you and make sure you communicate them to someone. That is the only way anybody will ever know you need help, that you need support. It’s okay to need that, it’s not okay to not voice your need.

To unleash your greatness be ready to act on those emotions that can put you in the prison of your creation and do what the greatest achievers do in order to rise to be the best in world in their work and personal lives.

To help those who get a thrill in wanting to make the choice to go from hopelessness to greatness in their own lives, in their way of being, as well as create lives they adore I created TJS Evolutionary Method: The ALARM and TJS Meditation Solutions that you can learn this powerful tool that you can use to achieve greatness in all of the eight key areas of life: Spiritual, mental, Emotional, Physical, Business, finances, relationships and money.

Meditation is scientifically proven to aid your healing process, you can download them directly from ITunes, you can get your copy of the book and find the links to these powerful meditations by going to http://www.apathtowisdom.com

And I know you totally get that your days (and mine) are numbered. So this day’s the right day to start living FULL ON…

With this outcome in mind, I spent many hours reflecting on and then writing 5 of my best ideas for living in a way that will cause you to be in your greatness and make history…

May these 5 insights fuel your rise. And transform your inner game…‎

#1. ‎Dream up a vision so brave it makes all around you roll with laughter. Or reply with ridicule.

#2. Care a lot more about how many people you help than how helpless you feel inside.

#3. Become the master of your craft. The undisputed titan of your field. And–quite simply–the best there ever was.

#4. Protect your pristine reputation. It’s an asset of priceless value. And each day, make your good name worth even more by doing acts of excellence, work that astonishes and gestures that inspire.

#5. When you feel helpless, feel the pain. And then make a choice to stand up. You were born for victory. Use failure as your fuel to propel you to your greatness.

If you are ready to balance your emotions, overcome procrastination, and get deeper within your consciousness to find the root cause of you feeling hopeless, take the next step and book yourself a two hour clarity coaching consultation and let me help you in your journey to unleashing your greatness. To book click Here!

If you are someone who likes to learn fast, loves to be surrounded with beautiful scenery, and loves the focus that two week one to one coaching can bring into your life that my “Fly Away to Your Dream Life” Coaching Program might be just the program you may be seeking. Here is what others say about their experience.

Ok. That’s it for today. Worked hard on this post. Hope it is super valuable, inspirational, and the following five steps are actionable! Until next time, let me take this opportunity to say a big thank you and I love you to all the wonderful team at The Inspired Stage for creating a platform for speakers to Inspire People from all walks of life to be their greatness. In my next book #Loneliness The Virus of The Modern Age I go into much deeper on the global issues that we are all facing now and in the many years to come.

Believe in the call on your life to do amazing things…make today, that day you listen to your call to Greatness!

Be great, awesome, and healthy,