What thoughts go through your mind when you hear the word “coma”? Do you joke about it, or do you take it seriously? At difficult times in your life, do you find yourself asking the question why am I in this situation?

If the answer is YES, then you are ready to wake-up your truth, from living an illusion and being in a “technological coma” that is stripping you off your true identity, your freedom, happiness, and most importantly the time you have left in this world.

Truth is, for many of you, the word “coma” is associated with someone who has had some kind of accident or life-threatening illness that stops them from responding to any outside stimulus such as touch, voices, other sounds, or any sort of activity going on nearby. Some of you may even jokingly use the word “coma” to describe people who don’t pay attention, are sleeping deeply, or not fulfilling their true potential.

But the kind of “coma2 I am talking about has nothing to do with effects of a physical injury. It has to do with:

The psychological, behavioural, and habitual changes that are happening at a speed of light due to rapid social, technological, and economic advancements are forcing many of us to be glued and married to our phones, ipads, and countless applications designed to rob us off or priceless time and give us an instant dopamine fix.

Recall the last situation that you were in. Where you on a date, with a friend having dinner, in a social gathering, family event, or at an important meeting at work? Now, see if you can recall how many times did you or the people you were with checked and did some kind of activity on their phones?

Do you or did anyone you were with took the time to switch-off from technology and the associated applications that increase your cortisol levels thus inducing more stress and anxiety in your life?

Did you know that by not doing so, the message you are subconsciously sending to the other person when you constantly check your phone for facebook updates, what’s up messages and Instagram likes is that of “ I have something more important to do, I value something else, I don’t value your time, etc.” The bottom line is, the other person may come to their own conclusion that being with you is a total waste of time and you don’t truly value their time and them.

Perhaps you have a friend who on moments notice cancels that movie-date, exhibition you were looking forward to seeing, or simply catching with them over a coffee and decides to honour another engagement. If you do, then you may want to look deeper within you the reasons this person is still in your life.

Over time I have let go many people whose behaviours and values were different to mines and the kind of meaningful, trustworthy and loving relationship I love enjoying in my daily life.

The countless dopamine fix behaviours we have developed are not only destroying the social fabric of a healthy society, business success and the relationships we have built over a lifetime, but they are also fuelling the global problems that mankind is facing and is looking to solve.

Some to mention are the threat of terrorist attacks, extremism, extreme levels of poverty, unfair wealth distribution, the spread of HIV/AIDS and other infectious diseases, supply of clean water, providing universal primary, secondary, and university education, managing cultural, generational and gender differences, dealing with high divorce rates and instilling the morals and ethics in the “millennials” that may save humanity from destroying itself.

In my multi-award winning book # Loneliness, I call this new phenomenon, the virus of the modern age. If not caught, stopped, and cleaned in the now, it will continue to spread globally at uncontrollable rates infecting everyone with behaviours, beliefs, and actions that may take mankind into an irreversible trajectory of self-destruction.

This new gold rush for dopamine fix is also affecting every family, every relationship, and every business across the world. Many business leaders and CEO’s that seek my help to address various personal, leadership and people problems felt that many of their workers are asleep.

Some event felt that the “millennials” are to blame because they are a generation of entitlement, narcissist, self-focused, and lazy people. Unless this problem is addressed and alleviated in the now, many people will lose their jobs, some businesses will stop to exist, and those who survive will deploy Artificial Intelligence (AI).

Perhaps now is the time to wake-up humanity from this coma that pushes us to seek friendship in social networks with people we never met, create and buy AI pets, sex, sales, police and soldier robots to satisfy our endless needs.

Recently I gave a TEDx talk titled “Technological Armageddon: A Wake-Up Call” based from a chapter in my book #Loneliness that so far hundred thousands of people have watched and shared it across various social media channels. In a nutshell, this talk is a global call for us to remember what makes us human being and not human doings that we are more and more forced to become.

You are here because you are curious, because you are born to be a dreamer, and because you are seeking the art of creating your dream life. But, we all know that the process of making our dreams come true process is no different to the one of planting the seeds for the fruit and vegetables we want to have in our garden.

If we want the seeds we plant to grow so that one day we can harvest the fruit and vegetables that nurture our body-mind, then we all know that once the seeds are planted, we ought to spend the time that is required to consistently nurture those seeds.

The art of creating your dream is no different to this process. Give it a go, and see how your destiny changes.

Eleanor Roosevelt, the longest-serving First Lady of the United States once said:

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Deep inside your mind, heart and soul you know you have a dream you believe in, an inspired purpose, vision and a calling that you would love to bring into reality and into the world.

But, as the societal indoctrination takes hold, many of us stop believing in our abilities; we doubt ourselves, and become afraid to dream big. And I mean really big.

According to the Scranton University research, did you know that a staggering 92% of people that set New Year’s goals never actually achieve them and 98% of people die without fulfilling their dreams.

That is billions of people who are killing trillions of dreams.

I’ve done it many times, and if you’re like me — a driven, type-A entrepreneur — failing to meet goals can set you back and leave you discouraged and frustrated.

My aim for this blog is to share three principles I have used to not only make my own dreams come true but also the dreams of the many of my clients from all around the world.

One of these clients that I helped make their dream come true is Joel Van der Molen, the MD of Vandercom, with whom we recently launched into the world “Living My Illusion”, a real life, thought provoking, and mind blowing coaching documentary series. Once a childhood dream it now became Joel’s reality.

It is only you who can take the same decision as Joel did two years ago that can put you on a path to realize your dreams.

Here is a fraction of the journey that led me to discover the art of creating my dream life. Let me share with you just one of my dreams that it took over forty years to realize, but I did it, and I know you can too.

I was born in a ghetto area of Gostivar, a small town in western Macedonia, and as a boy, I dreamed about three things: becoming a heart surgeon, an engineer who travels the world and works for the betterment of humanity. I dreamt that one day I will speak at the United Nations about the importance of preserving the sanctity of a human life.

My parents who were restaurant owners instilled in me the importance of education and listening to my heart played a significant role in achieving my dreams. By the age of ten, I already knew how to cook, work the land, and sell homemade farm produce to the local gypsy community.

Even then, I knew that someday my dreams would lead me to travel the world and work for the betterment of humanity. I felt it so deep in my soul. At the age of twelve, following an illness that kept me bed ridden in a hospital for over two years, I knew I will write a life manual, like people make manuals for fixing TV and Radio sets.

Then, in my late teens, the horror of civil war fell upon us – to save my life, my mother put me on a one-way flight to London; however, with very little money in my pocket, I had to live homelessly on the streets.

On this journey, I faced some of the worst adversity that life can throw at you. I experienced injustice, bullying, war horrors, homelessness and many disappointments, fears, rejections, and the feeling of abandonment.

But misfortune is often the catalyst that leads to powerful change, that’s what happened to me. I went from feeling alone, desperate, and hopeless to graduating with honors, successfully leading multi-billion pound IT programs, writing two best-selling books, travel globally and take people on a journey to boldly go where alone they are afraid to go.

Overcoming many of my life’s adversities also gave me the knowledge, tools, and the wisdom that kept pushing me against seemingly impenetrable boundaries and I believe that’s possible for you, too – for every one of us.

It is what I dedicate my life to, assisting others to breakthrough perceived limits and realizes their dreams, whatever they may be.

To help you on your journey, here are the three transformational principles you can use to master the art of making your dreams come true:

1. Exercise the power of choice; deep down you know you can choose to break through what’s blocking your path.
   2. Thrive to daily educate your mind. It is why you landed on this blog. It is what can help you efficiently learn how to use your time.
   3. You are the most important person in your life. Learn to love the unlovable in you, make a list of all the things you dislike about you and do something about it. It is what will synchronize your body, mind and heart.

Once these three core principles become habitual for you, you start to master the art of creating your dreams.

It took me forty years of consistently pushing through every adversity but also learning, training, and educating my mind. I went from being homeless to writing two bestselling and award-winning books. It is what gave birth to A Path to Wisdom and a year down the line to #Loneliness and what contributed towards being invited to speak at the United Nations in New York.

I am feeling so excited that my other dream, to be a TEDx speaker, is about to come true. I am among 37 speakers from 3 countries including Australia, British Virgin Islands and the United Kingdom and 14 states including California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Texas, Utah and Virginia who will be giving 35 talks which are guaranteed to change, inspire, and enrich your life..

I would love you to join me, be part of this amazing conference, and meet inspirational speakers. Click HERE to grab your tickets now and be one of those I helped and made their dreams come true.

Opportunities related to your dreams will be secured in any endeavor you choose to dedicate yourself to. Because, I believe, it is your commitment, consistency, and a grateful heart that lights up your path and makes you a shining star.

Remember, Creating Your Dream is Not a Choice-It is Your Destiny.

I thank you and love you.

P.S. If you are ready to create the alignment required to become a healthy, wealthy, successful, inspired and purposeful leader, then do get in touch. Your first step is to book a two-hour clarity coaching consultation and find out what my range of custom made coaching programs and the principles of TJS Evolutionary Method® that I use daily to help leaders, celebrities, and successful business owners from all market sectors resolve their problems can do for you.

As your trusted coach I can ensure that you have an epic 2017 and beyond by helping you learn principles that can accelerate your personal, professional and business growth.

If you agree that Mastery is an inner process of transformation from the inside out then you have come to the right place.

You are not alone…Many people around the world including celebrities such as George Clooney, President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Angelina Jolie, Oprah, even the new president elect Donald Trump experience the feeling of being stuck, isolated, and becoming uncertain about their future.

This also was the case with me six years ago when I faced redundancy. Looking back, I had to face the fears, the shame, and the loneliness that came as I embarked on a never ending emotional roller coaster that each passing day dragged me deeper in the caves of solitude being tied up with unbreakable chains that kept me imprisoned in the prison of my own creation.

As I hit rock bottom, I decided to purchase every personal development program out there. I also started to attend talks, seminars, and workshops in the hope to take ownership of the direction my life was going. I continued to work with my coach, mentor, and the various healers to help me heal from within.

It was also during this time that I came across Dr John Demartini whose programs, guidance and mentorships alongside the KPI Program (Business Accelerator Nine Months Program) helped me create the breakthroughs that lead me to create a very successful coaching, training, and speaking business that I now enjoy and love.

Having travelled the world with coaching successful private clients, I got to understand how I and most people on this planet operated from the victim/rescuer/observer role. It is this that places us on an emotional roller coaster that only the unhealthy part of our ego enjoys.

This got me thinking and took me on another inner self discovery journey. I went to see my spiritual teacher John of God in Brazil and spend three weeks meditating at the casa asking God, the spirits, and the Universe to help me create a unique methodology that billions of people around the world can use to let go the victim mindset of their past and become masters of their destiny.

As part of my KPI program, to raise my profile and be able to reach more people I had to write a book. My first attempt was disastrous, I felt pushed and what I wrote did not resonate with my heart. Although many people told me the book was amazing, my heart new I had to write the manual for humanity that since childhood I have been thinking about.

Despite the investment in money, energy and time made so far, I decided to write the book that felt close to my heart. I hired my publisher Mindy Gibbins-Klein as my book coach to help me focus and keep me accountable throughout my writing process.

I started to write my first book A Path to Wisdom from my Pimlico flat, as I got hired to coach clients around the world, my writing continued in some amazing locations that many of my successful UK and international clients love to take me.

The book writing continued during the time I was coaching clients in the island of Hvar in Croatia, Essaouira and Marrakech in Morocco, Swiss Alps, Macedonia, Kosovo, Germany, and the final draft was finished in Brazil at the Casa Dom Ignazio just before Christmas 2013.

Little I knew back then that three years down the line I would become an international award-winning and best-selling author of not only my first book A Path to Wisdom but also my newly released book #Loneliness the Virus of The Modern Age.

As more people become aware to the truth that the outer world we experience is the external out-picturing of our internal thoughts, feelings and attitudes, the better our world becomes and the faster they become masters of their reality. It is this inner journey that is required for billions of people to take to become empowered to change their outer world experience of life whatever they may be.

The twenty five conscious engineering steps that I talk about in A Path to Wisdom are part of the TJS Evolutionary Method® that I use to help personal, professional, and the owners of 6,7,8 and now even 9 figure business owners find solutions to their problems.

The method is set up in a way that helps people change their inner world first. In my humble opinion, we are here to be all we can be, to learn, expand, and accelerate our human potential. From studying, observing, coaching, and being with some very successful people I know that there is no other way..

For sure you know it already……You always have the choice to stop playing the victim game but it takes a certain amount of courage to do so. It also takes for someone who has walked the talk to be a great mirror to help you polish your own mirror.

Here are the five vital steps you can use each day to Master Your Life.

1. See everything you experience as something that you created in order to grow spiritually from. Each and every day repeat to yourself this mantra I teach all of my clients: “I acknowledge that I am the master of my reality and equally embrace support and challenge.”
2. When challenged by a situation or a person, remember its their pain, shame, or fear that speaks. Chose to see the Christ/Love/Light/Mohamed/Buddha Spirit within everyone and adjust your response accordingly.
3. When you wake up ask yourself, how else can you serve the people you encounter each day. This will put you in a daily mode of practicing an attitude of gratitude.
4. Learn to Live in the NOW. Yes we all have things we want to have, achieve and create, it is the very same yearning to have things that stops you from living, being and loving the moment.
5. You are a miracle, to unleash the wisdom you have make sure you invest in a coach/mentor/healer, etc. It is the best investment that reaps countless rewards.

It is this consistent investment in me that I used to heal my body, balance my mind, master my emotions, and awaken my heart to the infinite wisdom of the love. It is what lead me become human behaviour expert globally known as The See-Through Coach who helps thousands of clients accelerate their personal and business growth.

It is my heart’s thirst to reach, educate, and heal the lives of one billion people that inspires me into action every awakening day. It is this mission and vision to be of service to humanity that recently got me to being interviewed in San Diego by legendary Brian Tracy and appear on ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox and their affiliate channels.

Now it’s up to you to use these Five Steps daily to grow in an ever-expanding spiral reality. This is really how the universe functions: Stars are like spirals of energy, we are those stars, so make sure repeat the cycle to learn, grow, and use the five vital steps shared all over again.

Be authentic, wealthy, and healthy,

Tony J. Selimi

P.S. Check out the events calendar to attend any of my talks and seminars in 2017. Get in touch to help you inspire your audience, book a consultation, or learn more about my work. You start reading, learning and growing by daily taking ACTION!

No matter how each one of us feels, no matter what we do or not do, the truth is every time we look up, we see the sun, the moon, the sky, and an infinite universe filled with stars that at night come alive and shine their light equally on us all. What could be possible if each one of us comes out of our cocoon and just like stars, every day we shine our love and light? What would change in your life if right now you decided to make a Dent in the universe?

What if, just like I did, you too can find a way to activate your inner genius, become focused, and connect with the right people that can help you on your journey. I trust what you are about to read is going to inspire you into action so that you reach for your star, create a clear vision, and take the steps required to help you deliver your highest vision and make a dent in the universe.

So how did a homeless man who twenty-six years ago fled the atrocities of civil war, could not speak English, had no money, no family or friends to turn too ended up on a British Airways Business Class to San Diego, staying at Hard Rock Hotel in a King Suite room, being interviewed by legendary Brian Tracey, connect with Nick Nanton from Celebrity Branding You, and appear on ABC, NBC, Fox, and CBS discussing about my work, award-winning books, and real life coaching documentaries created in partnership with the founders of Vandercom, Joel Van der Molen and Timea Van der Molen. Some of you may be wondering how did I go about creating a concourse of wisdom which is helping people access, activate, and accelerate their human and business potential.

Others may be thinking how did I attract clients from all professions, sectors, and markets including Dr Emanuele Garbelli with whom we are on a mission to transform healthcare globally, Philip Carvil, a space physiology scientist on a mission to create product and services for safe travel to space, and Paul McMonagle on a mission to help people globally heal their OCD and support them on their journey to perfect health? Pretty impressive, wouldn’t you agree?

For many people what I just shared sounds mission impossible, but for me, like a phoenix, I chose to rise triumphantly from the ashes of my misery, loneliness, and emotional pain and become Human Behaviour expert known internationally as The See-Through Coach who loves inspiring others find solutions to global problems that mankind is facing now and in the not far distant future.

Looking back at my life, I now see with clarity how the pain, the adversities, and the isolation I experienced were what shaped me to daily strive to become a better person, to help others heal, and on this path to learn how both pain and pleasure in equal measure were what helped me focus, create and deliver a vision that is now making a Dent in the universe.

In 2009, my life took a very different turn, without much of a warning I was subjected to corporate backstabbing games that led me feeling stressed, emotionally weak, and destabilised my entire life. I was surprised to learn that I was far from alone on this journey; it seems that many people up and down the country faced redundancy and unfair dismissals that triggered various fears, mental and emotional health related issues, as well as stress-related problems in their personal, professional, and business life.

I started to isolate myself by avoiding seeing friends and family because I didn’t want them to know; I was ashamed, fearful, and became insecure of my worth I knew I had inside. Luckily, I am not one to dwell in this kind of state. I quickly began searching for solutions, I spent a great deal of time evaluating different online programs, I bought The Sylva Method, Hands of Light, Sedona Method, and started to attend talks, seminars and hired few healers and coaches to help me get out of this state.

Each time I passed through Piccadilly, Leicester-square, and Charing Cross Road I found myself in Waterstones, Watkins Spiritual bookshop, and Foyles. I bought and started to read two to four books a week. All of this helped a little, but I was still a long way from that light at the end of the tunnel. If losing the job I loved wasn’t bad enough, I also experienced a major breakdown and had identity crisis that lead me to give power to the voices of my injected values, beliefs, and the unmet expectations of others. Over the months that followed, I studied Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and became qualified Transformational Life Coach.

I then signed up to attend a nine-month entrepreneurial program called “How to become a Key Person of Influence (KPI).” During these nine months, I met so many entrepreneurs on a similar journey to me. I focused my time, energy and money to work with a coach, attend Dr John Demartini’s talks and seminars, and learn how to apply to my business the five simple steps of the KPI Method that Daniel Priestly, the founder of KPI, uses to help entrepreneurs become a key person of influence.

During this nine-month program I learned how to perfect my pitch, create coaching products full of value, built an international profile, create TJS Evolutionary Method, publish my unique IP, and partner up with others to take this unique work ad make a Dent in the universe by reaching, educating, healing, and touching the hearts of one billion people.

Within months of publishing my book A Path to Wisdom, it reached Amazon Number One Best-selling list in Personal Development Category ahead of many global teachers like Louise Hay, Anthony Robbins, and many other respected figures in the personal, professional, business and spiritual development industry. I just kept re-investing everything I was earning from my coaching clients, healing sessions, and business consulting in my personal, professional, and business development. Working with Dr John Demartini helped me clarify my vision, mission, and purpose and be paid my worth.

The more integrated I became inside, the more I started to attract the right clients, opportunities and partnerships to help me deliver the fruits that many of my clients were experiencing to a global audience. The more clients I coached, the more I activated my inner genius and the bigger my vision became. Supporting so many clients resolve their personal, professional and business problems as well as from personal experience I felt called to write about loneliness. A global problem that is not going away, but instead it is increasing exponentially through the power of the internet and social media.

The desire to help people breakthrough their loneliness, find solutions to their mental, physical, emotional related health problems as well as relationship, business, financial and self-love issues, is what inspired me to focus my time, energy, and money to create a powerful five-step method that when applied daily it helps them find the switch that activates their inner light, healing power and infinite wisdom of love. so that they can live more fulfilling, connected, and purposeful lives

We are so connected technologically, yet feel very alone in our hearts, this is a growing problem, we are symbiotic by design, our survival depends on our connection and collaboration with each other. Knowing this I started to think about a solution to the segregation we experience worldwide that people can use daily to live more fulfilling, connected, and purposeful lives. It is this dream to connect people in ways

It is this dream to connect people in ways that help them create heart, mind and soul coherence that inspired me to write another book. It is this thirst for being of service to humanity that gave birth to another international award-winning book#Loneliness – The Virus of The Modern Age. I spend six months researching the subject of loneliness.

I learnt how loneliness impacts our genes, weakens our immune system, and is the root cause of the separation we experience globally. Using my trademarked methodology in human development, the TJS Evolutionary Method® (TJS Method) alongside TJS Meditation Solutions, the TJS Value Alignment, as well as Vital Planning for Elevated Living Five Day Seminar to help more clients achieve results I started to attract better clients and far greater opportunities that I ever thought possible.

It is this vision to create life manual to reach, educate, and inspire one billion people to live more fulfilling, connected, and purposeful lives that gave birth to my next book #Loneliness – The Virus of The Modern Age. I spent six months researching the subject of loneliness. I learnt how loneliness impacts our genes, weakens our immune system, and is the root cause of the separation we experience globally. Using my trademarked methodology in human development, the TJS Evolutionary Method® (TJS Method) alongside TJS Meditation Solutions, the TJS Value Alignment, as well as Vital Planning for Elevated Living Five Day Seminar to help more clients achieve results I started to attract better clients and far greater opportunities that I ever thought possible.

This lead to taking my business and my life to a whole new level, one that lead me to Nick Nanton, Brian Tracey, and with their support appear on ABC, NBC, Fox, and CBS TV channels to reach more people and make a Dent in the Universe. Here are Five Vital Steps to help you on your journey to unleash your value, create a business and products that solve global problems, and in turn support you on your journey to making a Dent in the universe.

1. Acknowledge Your Worth. What I mean by that is get clear on who you are, what is your credibility, and what value you do you have that the world needs.
2. Love the unlovable. Many of you reject things that are not loving to you, true master sees the balance in everything you experience, the good and the bad. Learn to see the other side of everything that you currently may perceive as unlovable.
3. Achieve inner equilibrium. Your physiology will thank you for balancing your skewed perception, the more balanced you feel within, the more you become in your outer world.
4. Results you want are your creation. Whatever the challenge may be, remember to get the results you want you must commit your time, love and energy. Make sure you know it is your responsibility to create the happiness you deserve.
5. A miracle is what you are by design, learn to activate, accelerate and advance this wisdom that is within you to create the miracles you desire in your life. Start by having a great conversation with your higher self. Go into the future, find the man you have become, and let him write a letter to your current self on how you went about in making a Dent in the universe.

Apply these five vital steps of the TJS Evolutionary Method on a daily basis, they will awaken your purpose, wisdom, and hearts intelligence. If what you have read rings true to your heart, then please make sure you leave your comments below and let me and my subscribers know your inspirational story. Don’t forget to start reading and learning the method and the steps shared in my books and to sign up to receive my inspirational newsletter packed with food for the mind and heart, follow me on twitter, fb public page, Instagram, and connect with me on LinkedIn.

You may also choose to start your coaching journey with me, if so, my recommendation is to book a two hour of clarity coaching consultation during which we will identify what you need to do in order for you to get clear on the next steps you need to make to shine your light and make a dent in the universe.

In the next blog, I am going to share what happens next as I go through the Celebrity Branding Experience with Nick, Brian, his team of expertise at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego, and the live interview with Brian Tracey.

Finally, thank you for stopping by, being a valued subscriber, a reader of my books, and a fan, valued client, and most importantly a fellow light friend, on this short life journey.

Love and wisdom

Tony J. Selimi

We are born whole, yet from the moment we come into this world we are constantly told by our parents, the religion in which we were born into, and the schools that we attend that we are not. We are programmed to constantly seek validation that we are good enough from external sources and create the illusion of not being good enough within ourselves.

The truth is, it is impossible to go through our childhood, teenage years, and adulthood without some situations or someone infecting you with the belief that you are not enough. That unless you do something that others want you to do, you are made to feel you are not worthy of love. It is precisely this feeling of unworthiness that it is the root cause of the many of the humanity’s problems such as illness, poverty, high divorce rates, rise in extremism, nationalism, phobia’s, etc.

This way of perceiving our reality from a place of not being good enough is extremely painful to our human experience and therefore we spend most of our lives trying to proof we are good enough.

The feeling of not being good enough is one of the major catalysts that changes, controls, and commands our behavior, attitude, and affects the quality of our life. It also impacts our self-esteem, self-worth, and in general our overall well-being.

If you are someone who is seeking a way out of your current situation and a way in into a new reality that is more favorable to you, then you may want to keep reading on. Reason being, I am going to share with you what one powerful practice you can do daily to fill the empty hole that you feel inside from within yourself.

In every coin there are two sides, similarly, for every negative emotion, there is the opposite positive emotion that in most cases we unconsciously do not acknowledge.

For instance, this feeling of not being good enough also has a positive side, it can drive us towards achieving some astronomical goal and inspire us to become legendary. For instance, my drive to proof to my parents that I am good enough helped me go from living homeless in the streets of London, to obtaining an Engineering degree at one of the UK’s prestigious university – University College London (UCL). It also drove me to climb the career ladder, become a successful entrepreneur, and internationally award-winning author of two books.

Having spent over twenty years doing personal, professional, and spiritual development, I know now that this is not the most optimal path to achieving success, wellness, and most importantly wholeness. Reason being, doing things in your life to disapprove the model of not being good enough comes with high cost, in worst cases it costs you your health, wealth, and most importantly your time.

This way of living your life is what makes you give your power away and become dependent on others to validate your worth. Daily I see many clients who come to me for a whole range of problems, from health related issues to relationship, money, business, or leadership challenges. Recently, a client of mine who is a successful CEO came to see me because he felt his children did not appreciate him for everything he was giving them. This grow into anger, frustrations, and tremendous resentments towards his wife and his kids.

When he would come home his expectation was for his children to behave in certain way, when they would not meet his expectations he would feel rejected, unworthy, and not good enough.

This is a common behavior for many people that expect to be praised, validated, and noticed. If this expectation is not met, then they go into a tantrum, some people like my CEO client felt unappreciated, not respected, and deep down rejected.

For most of you, it is difficult to see this underlying behavior, as in those moments when this happens, you will not literally think that you are not enough.

Having read over 20,000 books from various life disciplines, attended many seminars on personal, spiritual and business development as well as working with some of the world’s best experts, I concluded that the voids we try to fill do not come as a result of rational choice – but instead by conditioning and habit. And thus, many of us live our lives feeling not good enough based on limiting crules and outdated cbeliefs about pretty much everything – health, relationships, career, education, love, work, money, parenting, sex, and so much more—which we inherit and pass on from generation to generation.

But, what if you could find most effective ways to fill in your voids that you seek in others from within yourself? What would your reality look like if you could forget the crules, brules, chabits of the past, and redefine what wholeness means for you?

This is exactly what the TJS Evolutionary Method that I use in my daily coaching practice to assist people from all walks can do for you, support you in your journey to filling an invisible hole you feel inside.

Use the first of the five step TJS Evolutionary Method to consciously engineer the reality in which you experience balance, gratitude, and feeling whole.

Acknowledge the people who trigger your emotions as they are the perfect teachers to address the unconscious voids that keep you seeking validation from outside of yourself.

For instance, if you get triggered by someone criticizing your way of parenting, then find that part of yourself that loves to criticize others, this is what is normally referred too as your disowned part.

To do so, list all of emotions you experience in that moment you feel criticized, as they are there to help you find your voids.

By owning these disowned parts of yourself i.e. recognizing that you have this trait in yourself, you start to change your behavior. In doing so, instead of pointing out the finger outwardly, thank them for being the mirror to recognize your disowned traits. This modification in your behavior is what will help you step into your true power, the one that comes from experiencing the wholeness of your being.

There are many self-help books that mention universal laws that help you break free from the shackles of not being good enough. In my best-selling book A Path to Wisdom you can learn the rest of the TJS Evolutionary Method and the other steps that you can use daily to help you address the feelings of not being good enough and equip you with the knowledge and the tools required to live in a state of wholeness.

For those of you who are already well ahead in your personal, professional and spiritual development you may also want to read my newly published international award-winning book #Loneliness –The Virus of The Modern Age where I share in more details the amount of crules (crap rules), cbeliefs (crap beliefs), and cbehaviours (crap behaviours) that are at the root cause of not feeling good enough, being rejected, and the cause of life adversities that can take you deep down into the wretched caves of isolation and deep loneliness.

Lastly, learn to dance with the angel and the devil in you that represent the many counterparts of the polar opposite of the “good” and the “bad” sides of your being, be curious about any external triggers that may put you out of equilibrium, acknowledge them, and open your heart to the power of the infinite wisdom that resides in the vibration of love.

If you are ready to breakthrough the things that keep you in the loop of not being good enough and live a more connected, inspired and purposeful life then say yes now, book a clarity coaching consultation, and get in touch asap.

To your success, dreams and abundance!

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”- Lao Tzu 

It is in our DNA to continuously evolve, multiply, and wake up and rise. To search for a deeper meaning to our mortal lives. The more I was learning about Taoism, the more I came to understand the meaning hidden behind Lao’s statement.

The many of the truth’s and lies that I had learned since a very young age kept me imprisoned in the prison of my own creation, the one of a rigid mind, and of an perfect illusionist whose illusions were so real that one could never establish the difference of what is and what’s not an illusion.

Ancient scriptures are littered with paradoxical lingo, for instance Jesus said, “Whoever tries to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will preserve it.”

Only this statement kept me searching for the deeper meaning behind these words. I came to experience the flow of life, the rhythm of striving and letting go that which hinders our evolution, conceals our truth, and keeps us holding on too tightly to our beliefs, skewed perceptions and injected values.

When we eventually awaken to our greatness, it feels like swimming against the current. It is this illusion that you must break through committing to do the hard work required to unravel the truth of who you are. Hustle and be persistent, make sure you balance this with patience, and at times, stepping away from a rigid belief, injected value, people or situation.

This was the case with Elizabeth Gilbert following the massive success of Eat, Pray, Love. She shared about the crippling pressure of any follow up work that came from this success. With millions of anxious readers, she cranked out a manuscript over the course of one year, but she shared that it just didn’t feel right “The voice didn’t sound like me.”

She decided to put the manuscript away, never to be looked at again, and focused on her garden patch. Taking a break brought her clarity; rather than writing the book for the millions anticipating, she decided to start over and wrote it for an audience of 27 close friends, who needed the message of the book.

This very same situation happened to me when I embarked writing both of my books A Path to Wisdom and #Loneliness. In both occasions the first manuscript I wrote did not feel congruent to me. I felt rushed and in a way pressured to deliver the manuscript to my publishers. I walked away from both of my original scripts and created two new ones that are now read by millions of readers globally.

Being able to listen to your true authentic voice, not the one you have developed over the years of conditioning, or disassociation, or fear, is what helped me let go of what the books had to be and created the room for them to become what they meant to be.

In your striving, acknowledge your willingness to let go and just do it.

Here are the five principles to embrace to elevate your being:

1. Unravel, Know and Grow Your Value. There’s value in simply being alive, being all you can be, and knowing your presence matters. And there’s value in what you contribute to the world; to learn to value how both your inner “devil” and “angel” are there to support you on your journey to self-actualization, and how life adversities are there to help you live your highest values and share that with the world. Keep investing in your most valuable assets: your health, knowledge, and wisdom. Get yourself a mentor or a coach, there are many out there, choose one that is credible, speaks, lives and is capable of holding a clean mirror to teach you your truth. I personally love learning and consulting with various teachers including world human behavior expert Dr John Demartini.
2. Learn the art of mastering free will and determinism. Many people out there believe that they have no free-will, that all our actions and behaviors are predetermined neurologically through upbringing and environment. Neuroplasticity experts disagree; they have now shown to us that we can change our brain, and we’re wholly and solely responsible for what takes place in life. In my recent book #Loneliness I share how our experience gives way to both; sometimes, we freely choose to pass on those delicious chocolate cakes, other times we’re possessed by the Vanilla Ice Cream Hagen Daz-monster. There are times we’re nothing like our parents, and other times we’re a splitting image. What I notice in many people is their willingness to intrude in other people’s realities, offering services and reasons why they should be in your life. To the extent that our able, self-discipline and willpower needs to be exerted. Ultimately with decision-making, joy comes in knowing you’re in the driver’s seat rather than the passenger seat. Whether or not free will is an illusion, feeling as though you’ve expressed your will is better than being a mindless robot. Remember, taking ownership is always better than seeking to blame.
3. Train your mind to think fast and slow down when it is absolutely necessary. Many of my clients struggle when it comes to making a decision if they should go ahead with their head, or with their heart. That is the question that billions of people are currently asking on the planet. When I spent six weeks meditating I learnt to master my mind, to slow it down and to think fast by recollecting vast amount of data needed to make a decision. Thinking fast, or just going with your gut, is often tied in with the unconscious mind; science has shown that it’s incredibly accurate—once we identify a goal we want to accomplish in our life, our mind draws from the vast information we’re subconsciously exposed to, and responds to triggers that support the goal. Thinking slow requires more conscious effort to fully explore an issue, but can lead to overanalysing and inaction. Whether you ultimately decide to go with logic or intuition, realizing your physical and emotional state when making the decision is just as, if not more important. Being in a stressed, tired, or negative state will never yield the best decision. Learn to be balanced, to think fast, and slow down when you need to, best way to do it is while you’re rested and in a calm state.
4. Embrace change and permanence. Universe is constantly moving, evolving, and creating and destroying stars and galaxies. You are part of the same universe governed by the very same laws. If you’ve heard the words, “Gosh, you’ve changed,” it was likely with a derogative tone, and remorse over what happened to the person they once knew. To be grounded and consistent in our values is a good thing, pretence has never been notable. Yet at the same time, returning to your high-school reunion and seeing old friends stuck in the same old thing comes with a sense of shame, blame and guilt. To grow and change is both a good and a bad thing. Whilst stagnancy has never been celebrated, it is essential part of everyone’s journey. Repetition and evolution are two great words balancing the truths of permanence and change: you may never change careers in your life, but the reality is you’ve grown in your work. You may never leave your country, but you may have fulfilled all your dreams and are daily doing actions that are elevating your being.
5. Study both Science and Spirituality. Science without spirituality is blind, spirituality without science is foolish. The integration of the knowledge they both bring is key to understanding the universe, our origins, and the next steps in our evolution. The dawn of the enlightenment and scientific revolution was the great divide between faith and reason. Positivism and Empiricism became the dominant methods for determining truth, and all else was classed as superstition. But in the recent years, we’ve seen the traditional enemies overlap, with science validating once esoteric knowledge and practices like prayer and meditation.

The five principles above are a great reminder that while truth and confidence can be grounded in facts and figures, trust and assurance can also be found in what’s not visible to the naked eye, or immediate to your senses. Belief, gratitude, and faith—less tangible experiences, supported by science, all broaden and add to meaningful experiences in life.

Learn to use the TJS Evolutionary Method to embody the mentioned five principles into your daily life. It will help you on your journey to integrate the wholeness of who you are.  For those of you who are advanced students of life, you may want to start reading my newly released book #Loneliness –The Virus of The Modern Age.  In this book is where you start the journey to unravel the hidden lies that in time become the truths that you speak. Where you learn to be authentic, speak your truth, and honour your true essence.

Lastly, remember one thing, enlightenment is not an overnight thing, it is a lifelong commitment, it is your infinite soul’s way of letting you know how powerful you are, and it is a dance between “Good” and “Evil”, “Love and “Hate”, “Day” and “Night” and the many counterparts of the two polar opposite sides of you.

“Being truthful, authentic, and grateful is the first step to healing your body, mind, and heart.”

Which one of these vital principles that resonates most with you are you going to commit daily? Which one of them is most aligned to your values, why is it so, and please feel free to share with me and readers from around the globe why is it so. Write your thoughts in the comments below, share this article on social media and invite others to engage in a life changing dialogue.

Be authentic, wealthy, and healthy,

Tony J. Selimi

Speaker, Coach, Human Behavior and Cognition Expert